[Video turns on. The view is at an angle, but you can make out colorful rugs, picture books, and neatly stacked toys.]

[And in the middle of it all, is a certain black mage fussing over a summoning circle in the middle of the room.]

[He straightens up, and turns towards the camera.]

Hey kids! Ready for school? I've got something special to show ( Read more... )

[Somehow, the camera flicks on and you see BM sitting at the end of the pier on that tiny island of the water planet. Gee, what a normal scene. He's just...sitting there, fishing. Not blowing anything up, not setting people on fire, not sending electric shocks through the water in an attempt to destroy all life ( Read more... )

[Video clicks on, and you see Black Mage holding up a notebook with...poems?...on the pages. Apparently, he's working as a 'Hallmark card writer ( Read more... )

[Here's Black Mage, with what looks to be a bunch of empty gas cans scattered around him. He's laboriously scorching the wall just right and he then stands aside to reveal his masterpiece:]

( ... )

This is completely unfair! I slave away my entire life so that I could destroy the world, turn it into a barren lifeless husk, pierce the quivering heart of everything that lives and breathes, desecrate their corpses in a hundred meaningless ways, and then rule over them forevermore in Hell itself. Heck, sacrificing those 900 orphaned kids for ( Read more... )